I'm going to jail i love you
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
