And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
