Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
