I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
