For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
