We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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