ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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