I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
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It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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