just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
