I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I will die if light touches me.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
