I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
