Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
