I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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