dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
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Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
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You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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