Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
