Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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