I feel like abortions should bother me more
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
