yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
