I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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