Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
