fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
