I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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