No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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