Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
