We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
