just survived the first fart of the relationship.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
