Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
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The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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