Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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