Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
