Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
