Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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