I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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