How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
