I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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