No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
