How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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