do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
ttyl tear gas
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
