My hand turned me down
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
