so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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