he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
