Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
