i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
