How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
