I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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