The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
