So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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