Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
