I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
