I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
