bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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