there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Ladies don't puke and tell
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
