he shaved USA in his pubs
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
