I'm gonna have a badass scar
4 words: hood of his car
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
