if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
