We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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