im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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