Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Can Purell be used as lube?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
