thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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