ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
