i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
