Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
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Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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