He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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