No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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