Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
