i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
