a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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