i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
