Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
